Memories
by ArkainansLover
Summary: See AN. Rated M for later chapters
1. Alone

**A/N :** Ok so these are going to be short little memories of Hermione and Draco's relationship. Some will be first person and some second person. It all depends on how I feel when I write them. I don't really know where things will go from here. There isn't a 'real' plot. Its like flipping through out of order photos. I don't own anything Harry Potter related. If I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.

**Alone**

Slowly, she turned the knob and pushed it in. She heard the click of the lock sliding into place but jiggled the handle just to be sure that no one could interrupt her. Standing near her desk, she looked out her window and saw young kids playing in the street. They remaindered her of the childhood she once had. They were laughing and singing and playing tag. Tears slowly fell down her face. As she turned back to the task at hand she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

She thought of all the times she had been happy. Back to when she didn't have secrets and before she had seen all the horrible things that where going on with out anyone knowing. Back before she had gotten her Hogwarts letter. It wasn't that she wasn't happy at Hogwarts it was just everything she had seen over the past 6 years left its mark.

Pushing play on her stereo, she turned the volume up all the way. As the music blared she took a pink plastic razor out of her desk. She laid it on the floor and smashed her foot onto it shattering the thin plastic. Carefully she reached down and picked up the now naked blade.

It burned when the sharp edge first pushed through her skin. She started out making short, shallow cuts then began pushing harder creating long, deep cuts.

The music shook the walls as she screamed. Blood ran down her arm and dripped onto the carpet. Soon tears were falling again and mixing with the blood. Her hand started shaking as she set the blade on her desk. She wasn't completely sure why she had done what she just did. All she knew was that after everything that had happened she was numb, and she needed to know she was still able to feel. Able to feel anything even if that was pain.

Laying down on the floor she curled up into a tight ball and cried herself to sleep. The stars were shining through her curtains when she was awakened to the sound of tapping on her window. The blood loss had weakened her so much that when finally made it to the window she could hardly flip the latch to unlock it. The window was opened by a pair of strong, steady hands. As the visitor claimed over he window sill, she sat on the end of the bed. She wouldn't meet the pale blue eyes that pleaded with her. Asking for an explanation with out speaking. Hands wrapped around her wrist and pulled her to his body.

She felt the lean cut muscles and steady breathing of her companion. His arms wrapped around her tiny frame holding her close to make sure that she heard the beat of the heart that loved her. Slowly he brought his hand to her face to brush away tears and she caught a glimps of a scare on the smooth skin above his hand. This whole time, she had been thinking about how different they were and how wrong they were for each other, but now she knew that they shared more then any one could imagined.

"I love you Draco" she whispered.

"I love you too Hermione."


	2. My Apology

-1**My Apology**

Hermione lay on her bed staring at a picture of her and Draco. It had been taken just months before on a trip to see Ron and Harry. Molly had insisted that the couple stand for a picture in the garden. They obliged and now there were two smiling facing looking right back at her. She had been happy then. Draco had just started working with the Order and was still shy around the other members. Not wanting to make waves. Now, on the other hand, they were in completely different countries. Draco had found it necessary to get as far away from Hermione as possible after their last fight. It hadn't been over anything important, just what movie to go see. But for some reason one thing lead to another and Draco was throwing around the 'M' word again. She started crying and he left. Now Hermione was spending the night alone watching the snow fall. it had been almost two days since Draco left and Hermione hadn't heard one word from him. That is until now. She heard a slight tapping on her window and saw Draco's owl waiting to be let in. It was carrying a small package and a letter. Hermione took them both and set the package on her desk. She then opened the letter and read slowly.

"_This is my apology. You have to possible answers. No: will stop all of this, but not without damage to both of us. Yes: well there is no telling where a yes will take us."_

Hermione was shaking as she picked up the package, already knowing what was in it. Slowly she removed the brown paper, her hand shacking more violently as she opened the lid. She knew her answer. She picked up the ring and slide it on to her finger. Tears fell as she realized what she was doing. She was giving up her childhood. A childhood she had stained to hold on to through all the events leading up to the war. She realized that she had fallen in love with the enemy. Draco may be fighting on the side of the light he is still considered the enemy by Harry and Ron. They might be friends but the boys see Draco as the person who took her away. She is still there fighting with them but here mind is always with Draco. Harry and Ron feel that although they have gained a friend and ally they have lost, in a way, their sister, their best friend.

"I will wait to tell Draco my answer." she thought. Going back to her and picking up the photo of the two of them. Should couldn't bare facing him right now. She knew that if she did she would break down. And she didn't want the memory of her acceptance of his proposal to include her crying. So she lay down and drifted off to sleep dreaming about Draco.


End file.
